Monday, June 1, 2015

Open Thoughts

This is honestly one of the hardest things to do. I want to tell you of a decisive thought that is in my head. But this is hard when I have many thoughts running around and having emotions run rampid.

One problem that i have is settling for less and conforming to someone I am not. I did not realize this until last Sunday when some events to place that I do not feel is right to discuss at this time. But we as humans want to feel welcome and belong. We want to have this feeling of community and not being alone. I deal with this problem and sometimes this issue can cause me to have anxiety issues among other things. 
I need to learn how to be alone, better yet I need to find out who I am.
                                                     Who is Corbin?
 I feel open yet closed. I have had some past people who I have given priority in my life basically break me and i feel very uncertain about opening myself up to people. I want to burst open and just say what I have to say. I eel like if someone were able to look at the mental and emotional aspect of my body they who see someone who should not be alive. I will be scared, bruised, and beaten.

We all have our share of issues, the one thing we need to take away from that is that we do not allow it to dictate our lives. We don't allow it to control what we think, what we do, and most importantly how we feel.
If I allowed everything that has happened to me dictate my life, I would be in my bed every single day looking at my ceiling. We cannot let those hardships control us. We use them as a way of learning and doing better with our lives. We grow from it, We don't rot.